I seriously thought.

I thought she was my friend.
But I guess not, and I suppose that when someone says such horrible things to you, that make you cry so hard, I guess you can't call them a friend.

When they say something so cruel to you, that all you can do is cry, but you have to protect yourself, and keep your pride…

So the only thing you can do is write something cruel back, and you get angry and out of control and you can't help but say some words you know you shouldn't.

Then of course, I'm sure what she wrote brought back her sense of pride, and she acts cold and indifferent towards you. Then you just give up…

Then, she has to do something completely unforgivable, and put what you had said to her, and what she said to you, and put it up for everyone to see, and everyone goes up against you, making you sound like the bad one, you who hurt feelings, when really, you're the one who got hurt so badly, you're the one who tried not to cry and wonder, why? Why would she say that to you? Why would she do that?

But you try not to wonder, and you try to be strong, but you just can't, especially, especially, when someone who was your friend longer than you were friends with her, says something as a joke, but it hurt you too, and you can't help but wonder…

Do they all hate me?

I don't know, maybe I'm just emotional because I'm PMSing or something, but I can't help but think that's how it is.

All I can wonder now, all I can think about while I write this, is why everyone seems to just go out of their way to hurt me. Why me?

After all, I'm just some unimportant, uncared for, unneeded, little insignificant speck that no one gives a damn about.

After all, how many times have I made a friend with someone, and thought that it would be a great friendship?
Several, actually.

And how many times has that person either gone behind my back and spread spiteful rumors, actually hated me, or purposely hurt me?
Every single damn time.

But you know what?
I'm completely over reacting.

After all, why should anyone care?
No one does, and I'm sure no one ever will.
But still, there is that one, nagging little thought that I can't seem to get rid of.

Well, there are two, actually.
One is I seriously, completely, absolutely thought Prudance and Natasha were my friends.

And the other?
I guess I won't have as many people at my birthday after all.

And it kills me that they would do that, hurt me so close to my own birthday, but then again.
No one. Cares. About. Me.

But, silly little, stupid, idiotic child I am, I can't help but keep on forgetting that.